i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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