I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
