Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
