I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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