trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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