I want to make a zoo with you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
