So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This baby is an asshole
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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