cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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