the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
