so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
