Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Found your dick twin last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
