Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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