I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
