What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
