It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize