yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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