Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
