Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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