How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
