he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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