How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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