oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
