what day is it and did you see me today?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just want to make out with him forever
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