So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
