we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
