Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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