life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
