I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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