Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
