She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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