i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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