I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
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My dream of liquor pitchers came true
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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