It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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