the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
