I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
