Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
