We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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