he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
