dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
