Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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