I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
