A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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