Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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