She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
