I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
