when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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