I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
