he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
