isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
