last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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