I need help removing her.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
