yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
