Kiss
Puke
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
did i just pee glitter
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize