i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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