i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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