Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
