I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
nut hugger
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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