Plan B is the new Plan A
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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