Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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