Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
